Early last fall I learned that my employer was facing budget cuts, and that my salary might be affected; as the budget process unfolded, salaries were not touched, but vacation accrual was frozen and retirement contributions were reduced from six percent to one. Then, in December, every employee received a letter from administration. I took particular note of the following:

As we plan for the 2009-2010 fiscal year, we know that the more information we have, the more realistic our new budget will be. Some of you have indicated your interest in retiring next year…Others have indicated a desire to move on to something else; that it’s time for change or that God is calling you elsewhere.

I’ve had a freelance business for a few years now, and have tempted myself with thoughts of being self-employed, but after receiving the letter I immediately started asking “What if?” What if now is the time?

First steps

I’m not a very impulsive person, so major life decisions require significant planning. I love charts and lists, and started the planning process by plugging numbers into a spreadsheet. Once I was convinced that a fulltime switch could be feasible, I presented my case to Kim. I was a bit surprised by her reaction, but she pointed to her trust in me; over the last two months, she has stood unwavering in her support of my decision, even when I’ve doubted myself.

I have a unique situation at work, in that my father in-law is a vice president, and works very closely with my boss. My next step was to talk to John—not as an administrator, but as a friend and trusted advisor (he guided many of my decisions when I first moved to Fresno to pursue Kim). He, too, offered his support.

After gaining additional support from my family, I felt affirmed. The next step was to talk to my boss.

An awkward conversation

The first few days after the Christmas break, the workplace was tense. Additional budget cuts were being threatened, and my co-workers were anxious. I debated the timing of my announcement for several days, and decided to lay all my cards on the table on a Friday afternoon. I walked into my boss’s office, closed the door, and tried to dislodge my tongue from my throat.

I referred back to the letter sent to all employees, and explained that I felt the local market was in need of the services that my business provides (more on that later). He listened. He leaned back. He told me that he wasn’t happy.

But he understood.

My boss is amazing like that. And if I’m completely honest, the hardest part of leaving is knowing that I won’t be serving on his team—they’ve become family, and torn down many of the walls I had built up working in other environments.

I assumed that my position wouldn’t be filled, but what I didn’t know at the time was that I wouldn’t be the only one leaving our team. Two other directors will soon transition to new roles, and one of our team members fell victim to necessary layoffs—without my voluntary departure, another position would have been eliminated (though, for all I know, that could have very well been mine).

Moving forward

It’s been over a month since I discussed my transition with my boss, and several weeks since our team learned about all the changes. My last day is less than two weeks away (nine work days, actually, since this is a holiday weekend), and I cycle through a wide range of emotions. I’m scared, but excited. I’m ready for change, but I’ll miss my co-workers. Fortunately, they’re close by.

As I’ve learned of other job changes around town, I’ve joked that the difference between unemployment, self-employment and entrepreneurism is mindset; whatever I call my situation, I won’t receive a paycheck after this month, unless I’m the one that writes it. (For the record, I consider myself an entrepreneur.) Obviously, there are implications for the family budget, but I’ve tied together a few strings as a make-shift safety net.

As for my business, it’s a web marketing company, Paprika Studios, LLC. I actually incorporated back in 2007 with a partner, but until recently it has only housed a few small projects. Paprika’s activities will focus on helping businesses and nonprofits utilize the web to meet their strategic goals; this will include website development, as well as search engine optimization and marketing, content strategy, email and social media marketing.

A note of thanks

The last several months have been both empowering and humbling. I’m excited about all of the opportunities in store over the next few months, but I’m cautiously optimistic. For my family, friends, co-workers and colleagues, I’m grateful for your support; for those who haven’t shown support, I’m equally grateful for your input!

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