With two more weeks until my aunt’s wedding in Louisiana, I’m hovering 3 1/2 pounds above my weight loss goal from last year. Families can be judgmental (it’s not just mine, right?), and the thought of wearing the suit my grandmother bought me in college has created new incentive for shedding the extra flab.

A little background

My weight has marked various periods of my life. I was a fairly small child, but as I started school—about the time my parents got divorced—I started to "fill out" a bit. Throughout elementary and middle school years, I was short, with long arms and oddly-long feet, and I entered high school weighing 185 pounds…I was 5′2".

Fortunately, I hit a growth spurt, and by the end of my freshman year I had grown eight inches, while maintaining the same weight. Suddenly, I wasn’t picked on quite as much, and my body seemed to have normal proportions, and towards the end of high school I started lifting weights and working out regularly. During those emotionally turbulent years, however, my weight fluctuated rapidly; at one point, I lost 30 pounds in under 30 days, only to put on more weight during the next up-cycle.

I stabilized a bit during college, and was at  my peak when Kim and I started dating (seriously, it’s depressing to look at the pictures). Thereafter, I gradually started to gain weight; under the stress of a cross-country move, distance from family and friends (and the familiarity of everything I’d ever known), and in a work environment that was quite oppressive and hostile, I ballooned. When I visited my family at Thanksgiving in 2005, I weighed 280 pounds, and they didn’t hold back their concerns.

I’m too young for this

I changed jobs shortly after that holiday visit, and immediately set aggressive goals for weight loss and healthier living. I joined a gym, and went consistently for two or three months. I stopped eating fast food. I switched to diet soda. And for every two steps forward (or down, as the scale goes), I took one step back. When I broke the 250-pound barrier, I felt the momentum.

By May of 2007 I was stuck at about 240 pounds, so I set a goal to lose 15 more pounds by the same time this year. If you’ve seen me since May, you already know that didn’t happen, though I did lose a few pounds.

And then I dusted off my bicycle.

I’ve been riding my bike regularly since June, which helps me to regularly renew thoughts about my weight and overall health. Add to my physical activity the thoughts of visiting family I haven’t seen since 2005, and the pounds start falling off.

Yesterday I weighed 228.5 pounds, which means I’ve officially shed over 50 pounds. Damn, that feels good. Many of my old clothes fit (and some are now too big), my belt has too many notches, and my energy levels are the highest I’ve experienced since college.

Renewed perspective

According to most sources, I’m still clinically obese, and after these last few pounds I’ll need to revisit my goals (215 sounds good right now). But more important than numbers and pant sizes is the lifestyle. I simply can’t allow myself to lose that much control again. Losing this much weight has been far too much work!

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